No room for bitterness in our marriages

Col 3:19  Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

As husbands, The Good  Lord is instructing not to be bitter against our wives, but that we should love them. There many things our wives might do that can cause us to bitter against them; such as not submitting to our leadership, still the scriptural injunction is that we should still love them without bitterness

When we show love, I mean really love without bitterness, we are demonstrating the character of our Lord Jesus Christ who said “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.”

When we show love, by correcting out of love (not out of anger or animosity), by showing the right way and manner she should have acted or behave because love does not rejoice in evil (the wrong acts or mistakes)(1cor13:4-8)

When we husbands show love without bitterness, we demonstrate that we accept her imperfectness and we are ready to tolerate her.

When we husbands show love bitterness, we demonstrate that we ourselves are imperfect, and we vulnerable to the same mistake she mistakes

When we husband show love without bitterness, we are indirectly telling God we accepting His verdict on our marriage

If we become bitter against spouses, we are opening the door for Satan to work, the scripture says “Neither give place to the devil” (Eph4:27). Remember, the story of Cain, He became bitter against his brother Abel, the resultant effect of his bitterness was that he murdered his brother.

The Lord doesn’t want us to murder our marriages all because of bitterness that is enthroned in our heart against our spouses, that is why He says “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them”

Further reading on bitterness Heb 12:15, Act 8:18 – 24,Genesis 4:5 – 8. I feel it is important that we check up these scriptural verses in the Bible and meditate on them .

Dear Lord, Help me to love my wife and that without bitterness nor wroth in Jesus name Amen!

Why God should be considered when looking for a marriage partner

Marriage is a sacred institution, which one should not just hurriedly get into. There are many factors that come into play. Among these factors are

1. Compatibility factor
2. Adjustability
3. Background and environment
4. Level of spiritual maturity,
5. level of emotional maturity
6. physical maturity
7. Psychological maturity

There might be many some other factors one should consider when one is considering who to marry. Ultimately one should put God as number one when it comes to the issue of marriage and whom to marry.

Reasons why we should consider consider 

1. He instituted marriage: The Almighty God instituted marriage and the reasons why He instituted the marriage institution
2. He knows the perfect match for every individual: For Adam, the Lord knows that Eve was the perfect match for him.
3. He knows that which is in the heart of every individual, We don’t have the power to know the heart of people but God has the power.

 Jer 17:9  The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

Jer 17:10  I the LORD search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.

1Sa 16:7  But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.

Ecc 7:26  And I find more bitter than death the woman, whose heart is snares and nets, and her hands as bands: whoso pleaseth God shall escape from her; but the sinner shall be taken by her

Meditate on the verses above, you will reason that God is better sought when it come to the issue to issue of marriage and whom to marry.

Jesus talks on Divorce

Mat 5:31  It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:

Mat 5:32  But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

The issue we are deliberating upon in this article is a very controversial issue. But it is good that we are still talk about it, instead of sweeping it on under the carpet.

If the Lord did not shy away from it, then it is important we talk about.

This particular verse we are looking at, is one of the sermons on the mount. Jesus taught the people and his disciple about the kingdom of God. He came to correct the wrong the teaching the people have been taught,  One of the wrong teaching is the issue of divorce. The people of Jesus’ days have been taught they can divorce, that is why He said

“it hath been said…

The Lord it is now giving them the correct teaching that is why He says “But I say unto….,

Jesus wants to knock out the errors in the former teaching of the people and give them the true teaching of the word of God

Mat 5:32  But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

1. Understand the condition for divorce.

Jesus says the legal ground for divorce is that is one of the parties have committed fornication (it is immoral sexual relationship before marriage) and not if one the party committed adultery (this immoral sexual relationship after marriage). So from the statement of Jesus, we can deduce that if one marries a woman or man who has had sexual intimacy before marriage and if that person who committed that act did not reveal the acts to the person he/she is getting married to before the marriage, then that partner finds out, then that person has the volition to divorce that person who committed the act of fornication

2. Adultery is not a legal ground to divorce

If you read the sayings of the Lord well,  Jesus did not say That whosoever shall put his wife, saving for the cause of ADULTERY.

Also the in the Book of Hosea, we see God talking to the prophet to take his back his adulterous wife back, Hosea 3:1-3

      Hos 3:1  Then said the LORD unto me, Go yet, love a woman beloved of her friend, yet an adulteress, according to the love of the LORD toward the children of Israel, who look to other gods, and love flagons of wine.

Hos 3:2  So I bought her to me for fifteen pieces of silver, and for an homer of barley, and an half homer of barley:

Hos 3:3  And I said unto her, Thou shalt abide for me many days; thou shalt not play the harlot, and thou shalt not be for another man: so will I also be for thee.

I believe we should strive with the help of the Holy Spirit, to keep the sanctity of marriage for the Lord God says He hates Divorce (Malachi 2:16) 

See your marriage as a calling and Ministry

I know many people who are labouring to know what is calling of God on their lives
They are seeking God to reveal to them which ministry are they called to
Most people do not see marriage as a ministry and as a calling,So most people don't prepare for it
See your marriage as a ministry and as a calling. Just as those who are called the five fold ministry
adequately prepare for such work and calling.

Eph 4:11  And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers;
These people who are called into these ministry are instructed to wait on their ministry
Rom 12:7  Or ministry, let us wait on our ministering: or he that teacheth, on teaching;
Rom 12:8  Or he that exhorteth, on exhortation: he that giveth, let him do it with simplicity; he that ruleth, with diligence; he that sheweth mercy, with cheerfulness.

Col 4:17  And say to Archippus, Take heed to the ministry which thou hast received in the Lord, that thou fulfil it.
People who are in whatever mininstry will not like to make a shipwreck of their mininstry.

I also believe that those of us who are married will mot like to make a shipwreck of our marriage,
if we see our marriages as a calling and also as a ministry.
Those who are called into ministry adequately prepare themselves in order to succeed in such a ministry. They read
alot of books and literatures, they go on lenghty fast and prayer. They also attend different seminars and conferences.
They invest alot of resources into their ministry
If we start seeing our marriage more than just the union of a man and woman, but as a calling and ministry.
A calling and a minstrial duty that we have to invest alot of our resources, energy and time into
order to make a success out of it. Let us invest in our marriages, get good books that will help us to
manage our marriages better, they us pray more, even fast alongside with it, let us attend
conference and seminars that teaches us how to better manage our homes.
Let us learn to develop new character and habit that will make our marriages heaven on earth. Character like longsuffering, temperance
meekness, peace, joy, love gentleness.
If we change our perception to marriage as just a union of man and woman, but as a calling and ministry,
Divorce rate will reduce, cheating on your partner will reducing, because people in minstry don't want to fail in their calling
Those who are called into ministry are endowned with gifts
Eph 4:8  Wherefore he saith, When he ascended up on high, he led captivity captive, and gave gifts unto men.
The Lord doesn't just call people into ministry, empowers them, He endowned them with special attributes.

Mat 10:1  And when he had called unto him his twelve disciples, he gave them power against unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal all manner of sickness and all manner of disease.

When Jesus called the 12 disciples, He endowned them, the empowers them

If we change our perception to marriage and start seeing it as a calling and a minstry, then we can start making demand
on God to endow us with special grace and gift so that we can make a success of our marriage.

Let us change our perception to marriage, let us see it as a calling and ministry that needs to be completed and fulfilling'

Jesus in the Journey of Marriage.

Marriage is a journey, it is not a 100 metres race dash. The journey is so long that our provision and preparation will get exhausted while embarking on the marital journey

The story of the marriage at Cana of Galilee. Show us that the wine for the marriage feast finishes. As marriage couples, we should realize that our “our wine” can get exhausted

Joh 2:1  And the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee; and the mother of Jesus was there:

Joh 2:2  And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage.

Joh 2:3  And when they wanted wine, the mother of Jesus saith unto him, They have no wine.

Our patience can get exhausted

Our finances can go bankrupt

Our love can go down

At such time, we need Jesus, We need Him to give us a new wine, even much more better than we had before.

Jesus gives greater love than we had when we started out in our marriage. Jesus will divinely supply our finances

Joh 2:9  When the ruler of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and knew not whence it was: (but the servants which drew the water knew;) the governor of the feast called the bridegroom,

Joh 2:10  And saith unto him, Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse: but thou hast kept the good wine until now.

We need to invite Him into our marriage so that Jesus will give He can help us in our marriages, giving us better wine

Miraculous provision in Marriages

Marriage is a wholesome institution in the heart of God. God has adequate provision to cater for the needs that arises in Marriage.

Adam and Eve were placed were placed in the Garden of Eden, where every of their needs were met.

Gen 2:8  And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed.

Gen 2:15  And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.

Gen 2:16  And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat:

Though Adam was mention in the verse above, Lord created a woman called Eve whom  the Lord brought to Adam in the Garden. So both of them were in the Garden

Gen 3:2  And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden:

The Lord saw to it that the need of Adam and Eve were met in the Garden

The question that comes to mind is Are you divinely placed in the Garden by God himself? To secure divine provision, divine placement cannot be ignored.

Remember, the story of Elijah He was told by God to go brook Cherith for divine provision to be given to Him

1Ki 17:1  And Elijah the Tishbite, who was of the inhabitants of Gilead, said unto Ahab, As the LORD God of Israel liveth, before whom I stand, there shall not be dew nor rain these years, but according to my word.

1Ki 17:2  And the word of the LORD came unto him, saying,

1Ki 17:3  Get thee hence, and turn thee eastward, and hide thyself by the brook Cherith, that is before Jordan.

1Ki 17:4  And it shall be, that thou shalt drink of the brook; and I have commanded the ravens to feed thee there.

1Ki 17:5  So he went and did according unto the word of the LORD: for he went and dwelt by the brook Cherith, that is before Jordan.

1Ki 17:6  And the ravens brought him bread and flesh in the morning, and bread and flesh in the evening; and he drank of the brook.

After sometime, the Lord told Elijah to move to another place, to a widow so that Elijah can enjoy division provision.

So it important that you seek God for divine direction to know where your own Garden will be . The type of job you should do, the kind of investment you can go into, the place where you should reside. Once the Lord gave you the direction, and you obey, then you can be sure there will be divine provision

Resolving Marital conflict

One of the stories that I treasure so much is the story of Joseph and Mary. It bring me a lot of comfort each time I read the story.

Mat 1:18  Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.

Mat 1:19  Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily.

Mat 1:20  But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.

Mat 1:21  And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins.

Mat 1:22  Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying,

Mat 1:23  Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.

Mat 1:24  Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife:

Mat 1:25  And knew her not till she had brought forth her firstborn son: and he called his name JESUS.

It teaches God can intervene in any marital crisis

Mary was found pregnant with a child without Joseph her husband meeting with her. The man would have been suspecting a foul play on the part of Mary. Possibly, Joseph would have been saying Mary is a flirt. The Holy Bible gave us the CV of Joseph

Mat 1:19  Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily.

The bible record that Joseph was a “just man and and not willing to make her a publick example”

There is a lesson to learn from Joseph

1. He was just: To me, it probably means Joseph was considering himself to be in Mary’s shoe. Possibly Joseph was thinking about the plight of Mary, if he exposes the Mary that she has committed adultery and the shame, Mary would have to bear.

Also the man was just, it implies he was matured, balanced enough  to handle the challenge.

2. He was not willingly to expose his wife: How many of will emulate this great character.  You are not exposing you partner’s fault to a 3^rd party. You  are ready to bear the bear his/ her fault.

3. He did not take a rash decision: Joseph was a very patient man. Joseph was pondering over the issue for possibly days. When our partners make certain mistake, let us learn to keep quite and ponder like Joseph.

I like to emphasize that it was while Joseph was pondering over the issue, that an angel sent from God appeared to him through a dream.

If we follow this principle, somehow God will intervene our in whatever martial crisis we find ourselves

The God’s dimension

Mat 1:20  But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.

Mat 1:21  And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins.

Mat 1:22  Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying,

Mat 1:23  Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.

God is interested in marriage since He is the originator of marriage. He watches this institution with keen interest. Though Joseph had made up his mind that he would secretly put away Mary, The God of Heaven had to send his angel to Joseph to dissuade him from his decision. The Lord told him that He knew about the crisis that was rocking his family and the reason for the crisis. Also God told him what He want to achieve with the situation.

I believe also, God is interested in our marriages, and whatever crisis is rocking us, God has reason for allowing it. Also God want to bring something glorious out of it.

Friend, don’t give up on that marriage, God want to intervene!